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Sample Dialogue

by Deborah Mendel

Although my late husband, Bruce M. Di Marsico, created the Option Method primarily as a self-help tool, most people find it easier to learn through working with a Master Teacher. This very unique tool was also developed for use with clients in all kinds of healing professions.

The experience of working with an Option Method Master Teacher is like sitting down with an old friend or confidant. Their skill lies in their ability to be present to you with a non-judgmental attitude of acceptance and exploration. At the same time they will guide you along your own path with the Option Method Questions.

It is through this very gentle but yet dynamic experience that I recommend that you learn the Option Method. In time the Method can become like second nature to you, a gift that you can rely on for the rest of your life. To give you an idea of what a session with a Option Method Master Teacher is like, here is a portion of an actual Option Method session I had with a client recently.

The Option Method Questions are in bold italics here, and they are repeated as the session progresses. I hope this example gave you a sense of how the Option Method Questions are used during a typical session.

Master Teacher: How might I help you today?
Client: I feel so miserable. I broke up with my boyfriend. We were engaged, living together, and he changed his mind. I’ve moved out. I’ve just spent my first two weeks in my new apartment. I’m simply beside myself with grief. I just don’t know what to do.
Master Teacher: What is there about breaking up and moving out that you feel miserable about?
(Note that in the Option Method we always use the language of the client. She said she felt “miserable.” This is essential because it helps the client hear what they are believing. Identifying our beliefs is the key to this method.)
Client: I don’t know. I miss him so much. I can’t imagine a life without him. I thought we were perfect for each other. Sure, we had the usual relationship struggles, but on the whole we really seemed to be great together. I made a commitment and now it’s all gone. I just can’t imagine being happy without him.
Master Teacher: Why do you believe that you can’t be happy without him?
Client: I mean, I guess I’ll be okay eventually, but really okay, really happy? How can I be? I had hope for the future and now it’s all over.
Master Teacher: I understand that you felt you were great together and that you were happy together, but now that it is over, why do you believe that you can’t be happy like that again? Why do you believe you can’t hope for the future?
Client: For the first time in my life I felt safe. I felt truly connected to someone. I felt I had a true partner, someone who understood me. I felt that I could do anything, that we could do anything.
Master Teacher: So, if I understand you, you are saying that this feeling you had of connectedness and partnership gave you hope for the future?
Client: Yes, exactly. It seemed that we could conquer anything and whatever we couldn’t didn’t matter because we had each other. I felt confident and strong.
Master Teacher: Why do you believe that you can’t feel confident and strong now that you are not with him?
Client: I don’t know. I thought I needed someone in my life in order to have that feeling. Although there were many times in my life before I met him that I overcame some very big obstacles.
Master Teacher: What are you afraid it would mean if you were not feeling this lack of strength and confidence? In other words, what are you afraid it would mean if you were to feel not just okay but actually looking forward to a positive future?
Client: Well, that would be like saying or acting as if our whole breakup doesn’t matter to me. That I could take it or leave it, the marriage, I mean.
Master Teacher: Is that true?
Client: No, of course not. I still love him very much. I wouldn’t want him to think I didn’t care.
Master Teacher: Couldn’t you tell him that?
Client: Yes, I suppose I could. Actually he probably knows this already. But I could express it again to him sometime.
Master Teacher: How do you feel now?
Client: I feel much better, much less afraid of the future and sick over this whole affair.I feel as those I can imagine myself moving forward now. But, I feel a little anxious about what my future holds and what to do. I’d like to talk about that now.

This was just the beginning of her session, but already she had begun to feel better. Through the use of the Option Method Questions she was just beginning to expose her beliefs. It’s like peeling open an onion. The Option Method helps you get to the core belief. What the Option Method Master Teacher understands is that we all have our own reasons for feeling as we do.

The Option Method Questions helps them to help you identify your reasons. We went on to uncover more of her beliefs and judgments and fears. Most Master Teachers schedule sessions for at least an hour.

by Deborah Mendel

If you’d like to have someone help you through the dialogue questions the first few times, consider working with an Option Method Master Teacher.

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